Every year, the pure
genius of Seinfeld slips further and further from the beating pulse of popular
culture. The once-iconic
sitcom is in the danger zone of being relegated to Andy Griffith-status, for those 25 and under.
Sure, the scenery and
technology may not have aged well, but the simple genius driving Larry David's program about nothing still kills it, for those who are willing to dive back into a world of beepers, it brought us gems like this.
The man with the mustache is, of course, the unforgettable Keith Hernandez. And, in the “flashback”, that is Roger
McDowell: the real spitter *spoiler alert*.
And, yes, that is the same McDowell who currently presides over the
burning garbage of the Baltimore Orioles’ pitching staff.
Right now, poor McDowell
must feel that he’s trapped on the barge of some hellish sitcom, awaiting
cancellation.
In the latest episode,
Wade Miley starred as “shellacked individual number four." It took him 67 1.2 innings pitched, with 7 hits,
2 walks and 7 earned runs on just 67 pitches.
All that was missing was the canned laughter.
It takes a special kind of
efficiency to achieve such rotten results in such a short period of time. Anyone who can read the back of Miley’s
baseball card knows that such dastardly deeds are his specialty.
Sure, every now and then,
he’ll pull a gem from the clutches of his rear end. Those who believe those short bursts of success
to be anything more than a sun-kissed mirage have been drinking too much of Dan
Duquette’s kool-aid.
The Orioles have just
weathered a horrific month of June. The
ineptitude included an AL-record, 20-straight games allowing five or more runs.
The carnage totaled 186
runs allowed. The last time a Baltimore pitching staff
allowed that many enemy runners to cross the plate was during George W.’s
second term. In September 2007, Daniel
Cabrera and company allowed an astounding 202 runs.
Before that, you had to go
all the way back to June 1987 (186 runs allowed) to find a month so
horrid.
I stopped my runs research
there. After all, there’s something uncomfortably-morbid
about poking around these stats – like reading bar tab statements of an
alcoholic.
On the bright side, while
the ‘87 Orioles went 5-23 in that month, their 2017 counterparts went 12-16, so
it could be worse, right?
Moral victories won’t do much to save McDowell’s job, however, should the losses continue to mount.
Fair or not, hitting and
pitching coaches usually get the ax when a club is under-performing. And, under-performing they are. The most troubling piece of evidence against
retaining McDowell’s services is that the talent atop the rotation continues to
take deep strides backwards.
Here are Kevin Gausman and
Dylan Bundy’s 2016 numbers held up against those from the current season:
2016
Gausman: 8.7 K/9, 2.4
BB/9, 3.77 XFIP
Bundy: 8.53 K/9, 3.45
BB/9, 4.61 XFIP
2017
Gausman: 7.3 K/9, 4.16
BB/9, 5.03 XFIP
Bundy: 6.99 K/9, 2.88
BB/9, 5.22 XFIP
Bundy has cut his walks,
but is allowing fly-balls (and home runs) at a much higher rate. Whether this season’s problems have been
mechanical or mental in nature, they don’t seem to be improving.
Barring a miraculous
turnaround, it is likely the Orioles will push the reset button yet again, this
winter – if not sooner. It wouldn’t be
unwarranted; his Baltimore
body of work is far from inspiring.
Still, on days like Monday,
you can’t help but feel for the guy.
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